


Fresh ground with a splash of milk and a heaping spoonful of caffeine powder

by Legs (InsanityRule)



Series: A Modicum of Humanity Makes Everything Harder [7]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 05:16:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9804146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsanityRule/pseuds/Legs
Summary: Seriously, someone should get this man a cup of coffee.





	

This is probably one of those times where waking up in an unfamiliar place isn’t a problem, but he can’t really figure out why-wait, yeah, that’s right. Bat kid’s place. Pennyworth let him sleep here. He should really thank that guy. This kind of hospitality is pretty damn unusual nowadays.

He sits up and stares at the door. Five bucks says it’s locked. Probably a good call.

He stretches, twists, and grunts. The hell did he do-? Stabbed. He was stabbed. He should really start writing all this shit down.

Zsasz looks down at the gauze and frowns at the red patch in the center. That’s probably a bad sign.

He shrugs and cracks his neck, stands, and tosses his jacket and shirt aside. They‘re bloody anyway, and way too formal. Next time he’s requesting sweatpants. No one suspects the guy in sweatpants is a hit man. Nothing wrong with being comfortable on the job.

Zsasz stares up at the camera in the corner, and waves, and he was honestly hoping for it to move or something like a nod, but no, not his day, so he sighs and goes back to the mattress to lie down.

He can’t even do crunches like this. “Well this sucks.”

And, added bonus, he’s  _starving_ . Pennyworth better get with the hospitality and let him out for some breakfast.

“Is this going to be a breakfast in bed thing?" he asks the camera, “or am I free to roam?”

Does that camera even pick up sound? Looks like there’s a mic or something. “If I want to be ignored I’ll go visit Gang.”

“If you can be patient,” a voice (Pennyworth) from a speaker says, “I’ll be escorting you to the main level of the Manor.”

“Sounds good,” he replies. “Say, do you have coffee?”

-

“You’re similar in stature to Master Bruce so these will have to do,” Pennyworth says as he hands over some lazy day clothes. “We’re going to get your side stitched back up shortly, but I would recommend a shower before Miss Kyle restitches your wound.”

Yeah, he can get behind that. He nods, and follows Pennyworth down the hall towards a bathroom, and when they arrive he says, “do try to refrain from doing anything idiotic or regretful, Mr. Zsasz.”

“No promises.” He smiles, and he gets _nothing_ out of the guy. “Don’t have much of a sense of humor do you.”

“Things aren’t exactly humorous at the moment, Mr. Zsasz.”

“Cause you’re kind of babysitting me right?”

“Because Master Bruce is still missing, Mr. Zsasz. Because as we speak your _boss_ is recovering from being _impaled,_ so you’ll have to forgive me if I’m not incredibly jolly at the moment.”

Zsasz nods to himself. “Well, s’not your fault.”

Alfred stares him down, then he shakes his head. “One can always be more prepared, Mr. Zsasz.”  He is  _definitely_ not happy right now. “I think you should get yourself washed up.”

“Can’t be ready for everything,” he calls back as he enters the bathroom. “So are you ignoring that part where I asked about coffee or was that a no?”

Silence. He shrugs. He’s not going to drink it in the shower or anything. What kind of person does that?

(He does. And there’s something very satisfying from being warmed up inside and out.)

Bathroom’s big. He whistles and looks at the marble sinks, the gilded mirrors, and the tile patterns on the floor. Someone payed big bucks for this bathroom and he is appreciative. He strips, removes the bandages from his torso, and hops into the large stall shower, fiddling with the handles until a warm stream comes out of the shower head on the ceiling. “Nice,” he says, and he closes his eyes for a minute. Once he’s warmed up he looks around the stall again and finds a screen embedded in one of the walls, waterproofed from the looks of it, and after a few exploratory taps he grins as music fills the small space. “Oh I knew BW wouldn’t let me down.”

He’d forgotten just how great private showers are. Forget breakfast (well not  _really_ his stomach is actually starting to hurt) he could really just stand here all day. He pumps some body wash out of a dispenser on the wall and starts getting clean.

Oh fuck he forgot how much soap stings in wounds holy shit.  He  _might_ sit in here a bit longer, just until  _that_ little inconvenience takes care of itself.

-

“Can’t believe I agreed to do this,” Cat mutters as she sterilizes a needle. “You better not get pissed at me when this hurts.”

“Deal,” he tells her, and he grimaces as she touches near the wound. “I lied.”

“Don’t fuck around with me right now,” she growls, glaring down at him. He looks back at the ceiling instead of at her scowl, _just_ in case a few less than important mental filters decide to shut off.

“Might not be,” he says, shrugging. “Are you going through bone?” He shouts when she touches him again. “If feels like you’re trying to.”

“Will you just chill out?” She sighs, and he watches her hold her arms out, beseeching. Maybe she’s hoping this will summon Pennyworth. “Do I need Alfred to hold your hand or something?”

“Nah,” he waves her off. “I could go for some headphones. Maybe a little music.”

“Fine, whatever, just _don’t move_ , okay? I already started.”

“No shit?” He looks down at the needle, and huffs. That’s pretty funny. “Thought you were just torturing me.”

“Stay,” she calls back as she leaves.

“Bring coffee!” he shouts back. “Someone’s got to listen to that one of these days.”


End file.
